You can click here to open the Handbook and refer to the full, relevant section.
Some topics for this module
Understanding more about loss
and grief;
How grief can be seen;
Loss and grief: focus in death and bereavement;
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16
We will give a lot of thought to the topic in this module because it is so important and has such a wide scope. As we are dealing with a variety of life’s circumstances, we will be casting the net widely at the beginning and focussing more later on. The more we understand about the issues, the more we will be able to support our friends.
These are not academic definitions of the terms often used, but it is useful to distinguish between many of the words used in reference to grief and loss. We work widely initially because we are trying to recognise our role as pastoral friends in our social environment as a whole, as well as with specific individuals in specific circumstances.
Loss is being separated from someone or something of special value to a person. Grief is an emotion that results from loss. It is a normal reaction to that loss. It can show itself in degrees of seriousness Grieving is a coping process that occurs through experiencing grief. Bereavement is a condition we experience caused by loss through death. Mourning is a process that occurs within us as we express our emotion towards our loss. It can occur with any form of loss but is more often associated with bereavement – loss through death.Loss occurs to us all at some stage in our life. In our environment we meet other people who have experienced loss in some form. Quite often we may be amazed how emotional a person can become about a particular loss. We need to avoid our own judgement on the degree to which the person’s grief is being expressed about a particular loss and recognise that if a person is grieving about that loss, it is their personal, emotional expression. It is our task (and wish) to help our friends through their grieving, not to be judgemental on whether or not they are grieving ‘too much’.
What are some of the things a friend may lose?
a pet
a parent
a grandparent
classmates and friends
a partner
companionship
employment
independence
social status
faith health
house and possessions
funds
You will notice that we have included loss ‘items’ that cover a range of ages – from children to the elderly. They are very roughly divided into relationship losses and material losses. This list is by no means exhaustive. How many other items could you add?
Sometimes losses can be seen as primary and secondary. For example, when a man’s wife dies the loss to the man is directly primary. A secondary loss can occur to the man because such a loss affects a general family relationship resulting in a change in some aspects of family life.
