Spiritual aspects of ageing

Even to your old age and grey hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

— Isaiah 46:4

Elements of religious or spiritual belief and practice. It's generally recognised there are three broad elements in a person's spiritual life:

1. Participating in organised religious ritual practices and activities;
2. Engaging in private religious devotion, meditation or reflection;
3. Living a daily life that exhibits a continuing religious or spiritual experience.

These aren't mutually exclusive — some people "go to church on Sunday," or don't go to church but are independently "worshipful," or live a good Christian life without engaging in the other two activities. And, of course, your friend might not be religious at all, but have their own spirituality. Some gentle exploring questions will reveal something of their spirituality — they may find comfort from a non-religious source, and if so, we cannot pass judgement. We should be willing to help someone find peace and comfort through the Scriptures if asked, but if not, we respect their own wishes.

Your friend, if unable to attend religious meetings, may rely on you to provide spiritual help:

• They will often like to pray; and
• They will often like to reminisce about church or family activities.

If you're visiting them, your presence can often be the only spiritual association they have during a week, especially if they're isolated:

• They look forward to your visit;
• Despite their isolation, they continue to grow spiritually; and
• They can become excited at the prospect of the realisation of their Christian hope of eternal life.

It's the constant stimulus of things that give them peace and comfort that help them towards the latter end of their life.

About spiritual life of the elderly

• The ageing process has a way of facilitating spiritual growth because of loss, pain and suffering.
• Such events may be a catalyst that leads to a renewed faith.
• In a crisis, people tend to move towards, rather than away from, God.
• Listen to their story.

Talking about spiritual well-being — more ideas

Some more questions you might find useful in exploring the spiritual state of your friend (or any ill person). Please be careful that using such questions doesn't feel intrusive — you might restrict yourself to just one or two, depending on how they respond.

• How are you feeling about this within yourself?
• When you want to feel strength, where do you go, who do you see?
• When you want to feel strength and comfort, what do you think of?
• Who would you like to see more of? What is it that they bring to you? How would seeing them be good for you?
• What sustains you (keeps you going) most at the moment?
• When have you felt loved, guided and supported in a most wholesome way?
• When do you feel connection and compassion for other lives?
• Is forgiveness a part of your life — forgiveness of both yourself and others?

Other things to consider

Each elderly person approaches mortality and spirituality in a different way:

• Anger — "You are not fair, God. I lived a good life. Why this?"
• Acceptance — considerable physical disability, but smiles gently at a visitor.
• Avoidance — a bad prognosis; the person sits in a chair all day and pretends to be asleep if someone comes near.
• Transformation — after a vigorous life, and despite extreme difficulty, the person has changed, of necessity, to a more sedentary life.

Each person needs to be thought of differently. A person's spirituality is deeply personal — considerable sensitivity and gentleness is needed when exploring this issue with a friend.