practical ways a pastoral friend can help

Give a helping hand

 

This is designed to be a revision, practical page for the younger friends we are trying to help spiritually. We have looked at some of the spiritual issues associated with various age groups so you can talk with understanding with a friend who may like or need your spiritual help. Now we can look at some practical things we can suggest to him or her. We will follow the headings related to the age groups in the earlier pages.

Ages 3–5: Wonder, trust and belonging

At this age, children learn through play, repetition, stories, music, and relationships.

Some activities

  Simple prayers before meals and bedtime.

  Naming things they are thankful for each day.

  Nature walks to notice God's creation.

  Singing action songs and worship songs.

  Creating artwork about Bible stories.

  Caring for pets, plants, toys and other things important to them.

Simple Bible stories are so important when developing a love for God’s word. For example:

  Genesis — God made the world; 1 Samuel — God speaks and listens; The Gospel of Mark — Jesus cares for us; The Gospel of Matthew — Children are important to Jesus; The Gospel of Luke — Loving others. Other stories from the Old Testament:  Daniel, Esther, Ruth, David.

  Spiritual Focus - God loves me; God made me; God helps me; I can talk to God – through prayer.

Children 6 and onwards

Children begin connecting stories to everyday life and developing a stronger sense of right and wrong.

  Prayer journals with drawings.

  Family Bible story discussions.

  Helping with simple service projects.

  Memorizing short Bible verses.

  Acting out Bible stories.

Children up to about 12

Here are practical ways to encourage spiritual growth:

  Share your wonder about nature, art, music, and other things of special interest to the younger children – their dolls, toy trucks and such like.

  Ask open-ended questions like “What do you think makes people kind?”

  Foster connection with natural things like walks, gardening, or stargazing that can encourage reverence and awe.

  Teach empathy, gratitude, and compassion to encourage their feeling of service to God and others..

  Practice simple prayers, meditations, or gratitude exercises.

  Avoid judgment and encourage children to explore and question.

Teenage years

  Gratitude - Regularly thanking God helps children recognize blessings and develop a positive spiritual outlook.

  Prayer - Simple, honest conversations with God teach trust and relationship.

  Scripture - Regular exposure to Bible stories and teachings shapes spiritual understanding over time.

  Service - Helping others develops compassion and reflects Christ's example.

  Nature - Experiencing creation often awakens wonder and awareness of God's presence.

  Worship - Music, singing, celebration, and communal worship help children experience belonging and reverence.

  Conversation - Open discussion about spiritual questions encourages genuine faith rather than mere rule-following.

  Spiritual Focus - What does God want for my life? How does faith affect choices?  How can I serve others? What does it mean to follow Jesus?

Young families

Encourage your friend to

  Have a short bible reading and prayer each morning and evening with his/her family. A few minutes each time can be helpful in focusing on God, thanking Him and asking His help.

  Build simple home routines that include spiritually helpful activities such as happily completed allocated chores, Bible reading and prayer, service time for others.

  Talk naturally about their children’s school friends and activities

  Encourage their children to become (or continue) involved in church youth groups

Mid-life

Your friend’s dilemmas are real so put aside time to spend with them privately to discuss their concerns. Avoid trying to fix their issues. If you want to make a suggestion, put it in the terms of ‘Have you thought of …?’ They may say ‘Yes’ and explain. They may also say ‘No’ and then give it thought at sometime in the future. (The future may not be immediate!) But, you have sown the seed of thought through the question you asked rather than a "You should ... " 'command'.

Concentrated listening is vital in trying to help a friend. Try to ensure that your discussions have no distractions like, telephone ringing, TV on in the room, children playing noisily nearby etc. A quiet, private, shared cup of tea or coffee can create a good environment.

Help them to explore other activities such as home and garden care, nature walks, hobbies that will help them to have a balanced perspective.

Encourage them to connect more with their church group that will not only be social but spiritual, where their friends can support them with their faith growth.

Above all, impress on them  the need to ask for and believe in God’s help – through prayer. Pray with them in a quiet place and tell them that you will pray for them in your own, personal prayers. The Apostle Paul was a great example of this. He wrote in many letters that he prayed for the individuals in the ecclesias (churches) to which he wrote.

Being practical in your discussions with your friends can be of immense value for them. They may not accept what you say, but they will appreciate your interest in their spiritual growth.

And now for the next Statement work page...