Vulnerable PDF
Many experience vulnerability as it is a
common problem and we all can be vulnerable to the pain of rejection,
but for some this vulnerability is more than others. Due to
vulnerability often being seen as shameful, it can be difficult to talk
about, especially for those that are emotionally vulnerable, as it can
be scary for them, due to opening up to others and sharing their
personal thoughts, feelings and experiences that may be painful.
Some individuals may carry a deep sensitivity to rejection and
abandonment, and they cope by putting up an emotional “shield” to
protect themselves, which may give the appearance of being strong and
capable.
We need to try and be aware and look out for people who may be
vulnerable. It may be difficult to spot vulnerability in others, as it
is hard for some to share their thoughts and feelings. Many people that
are vulnerable are reluctant to say if they are finding life difficult
and need a helping hand. People who are vulnerable also may experience
feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension due to the risk of them
experiencing some type of harm.
Some signs of vulnerability can be, and are not limited to:
Someone that does not open up easily,
not trusting others, and they may hide a lot of their emotions.
Someone
that may apologise too much.
E.g., when it is not their fault, or it is
done to avoid any potential conflicts or arguments.
A change
in their behaviour or presentation.
Someone
that questions if people liked them.
Someone
that is not involved or on the fringe of social activities.
Someone
that comes in late and leaves early from meetings, or not attending
regularly, so they don’t interact with others.
Someone that has loved ones
who have control over them.
Opening up about being vulnerable can be
difficult because of the fear of being judged, hurt, and even abandoned.
We need to be aware of ways we can help those that are vulnerable,
understanding that they can be sensitive and may be hiding behind their
shield, that they feel safe behind.
Some ways to do this are:
Listen to one another
- We need to listen and
get to know each other; we can listen for vulnerability in conversations
we have with one another and get to know each other and look for the
signs.
Be kind to one another - Vulnerability can be
hard to see, and you could be standing next to someone who is trying
their best in life, so remember whatever we do, do it with kindness in
our hearts, as kindness can make a BIG difference.
Don’t judge
one another – We
have no idea what their journey is about, we should respect their
decisions, without judgement.
Encourage one another -
Encourage them to be involved in things, this gives them a sense of
purpose and social connection. We need to remember that even small steps
in the right direction is success and recovery, and we need to
acknowledge each small step so we can encourage them.
Be patient with one another –
We need to not be too quick to rush in and try to fix what we see
as an issue, we need to give them space to set boundaries or adapt to
their comfort zone, being patient and showing them empathy and
compassion.
Be respectful and acknowledge one another’s
feelings – Let them know it’s OK to feel fearful,
overwhelmed, sad, anxious, or stressed, and not to be dismissive of
their vulnerability.
Make time for one another – Make time to check in with them and build a rapport with them to build trust, giving them some of your time you are showing that you support them, and actions speak louder than words.
Offer practical support to one another - If someone isn’t ready to talk, think about what practical support you can provide. Whether it is making a cuppa, helping with childcare, or cooking a meal, or it could be a phone call or text, small gestures can be comforting. Giving someone your time is the greatest gift, as when you give them your time, you are giving them a portion of your life.
To make a difference in someone’s life, we do
not have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect, we just must
care. Remember we don’t have to understand or know all the answers
to show kindness and be caring. Never underestimate the value of little
things, like a kind word or sending a text or card can mean a lot.
We need to use our voice for kindness, our ears for compassion, our
hands for charity, our mind for truth, and our heart for love.
Scripture tells how we should care for one
another:
Be kind to one another – Zechariah 4:32
Bring joy to one another by helping them out – Hebrews 13:16
pleased”.
Pray for one another – James 5:16
Love one another –
John 13:34
Be generous with one another – 2 Corinthians 9:7
Comfort one another – 1 Thessalonians 4:18, and 5:11
Honour one another –
Romans 12:10
Be patient and forgive one another – 1 Corinthians 12:13
Share one another’s burdens – Galatians 6:2
Scripture tells how God cares
When we are caring for the vulnerable, we
need to remind them that God is with them, we can do this by reassuring
them with scripture, and reminding them that God will strengthen and
help them, and uphold them with His right hand, Isaiah 41:10. We
can also remind them that God knows their suffering, whatever they are
facing is not lost on God, and that God recognizes their feelings and is
also concerned for them. As our God is a God full of compassion,
and He is gracious, long suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth,
Psalm 86:15. The Bible also says about God’s care:
God sees us – We never walk
alone; God is with us every step of our life. We are precious and
honoured in his eyes, as in Isaiah 43:4 it says, “Since you are precious
and honoured in my sight and because I love you, I will give people in
exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life”.
God hears us – Jonah
records that he called for help and God listened to his cry, Jonah 2:2.
When we endure suffering, it can be hard to feel that God is near us,
but God is always listening.
God is with us – In
Psalm 23:4 it records “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I
will fear no evil, for you are with me”. God will be a refuge, for those
that are oppressed, and a refuge in times of trouble or distress.
God is near to the broken-hearted
– In Psalm 34:18 it is recorded “The Lord is close to
the broken-hearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” God is
the God of all comfort: who comforts us in all our troubles.
God receives us when we’re overwhelmed
– Matthew 11:28 - “Come to me, all you who are weary
and burdened, and I will give you rest. We also sing the hymns with the
words, I came to Jesus as I was, weary, and worn, and sad. I found in
him a resting place, and He has made me glad, and another hymn we sing
is, Lord, uphold me day by day, shed a light upon my way. Guide me
through perplexing snares, care for me in all my cares.
We can choose to release our fears to God
–
1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because
he cares for you”. We also sing the hymns with the words, “When doubts
and fears arise, when storms o’erspread the skies, shine through the
cloud and rain, through sorrow, toil, and pain, make Thou my pathway
plain, teach me Thy way, and Look to your Maker, He’s promised to help
you, and waits for your call. Just tell Him your trouble, He is the
Almighty, there’s nothing too big, and there’s nothing too small” (Hymn
165).
We need to remember that in Colossians 3:12,
we are told to show kindness and mercy to our brethren and sisters,
while being kind and tender hearted to one another, and non-judgemental,
but accepting of each other. Zechariah 7:9.
Let’s do the best we can to minimise the
effects of vulnerability in our brothers and sisters as we travel
together in this wilderness journey until our Lord returns, and we come
to the promised land.
We long for that day when our Lord will return, and He shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there will be no more pain, for the former things are passed away. Even so come Lord Jesus. Revelation 21:4-5
Kylee Mingham
On the Adelphicare website you will find more
articles on Vulnerability –
Vulnerability – Openness, by Fiona Bosly
https://www.adelphicare.org/documents/097-vulnerability-F.pdf
Vulnerability – Closed. Trust in God,
by Laurence Lepherd and Cathy Strachan -
https://www.adelphicare.org/documents/095-vulnerability-LnC.pdf
Vulnerability – God’s help, by Kylee Mingham
-
https://www.adelphicare.org/documents/096-vulnerability-K.pdf
