"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand." (Psalm 73:23)
Illness presents a crisis to the ill person, dependent, of course, on the degree of illness. One of our aims is to help the person through their difficulty and to try to understand what the ill person is going through.
About illness
It is vital that we understand some of issues associated with any illness. If we understand, then we can be more helpful in our caring.What follows is some basics about illness and its consequences and then there are some practical ideas on the way we can help.
There are many features relating to
illness:
➢ Illness is a crisis
When a person is significantly ill (s)he is in some form of crisis. Some
of the ways show themselves are included below. Anxiety often comes with
an illness. The reaction to this can be:
• stunned silence or
excessive talk
• questioning of God, self and others
• retreating
from reality
• panic and tantrums
• anger
• self-blame
•
confused thinking
➢ It causes anxiety
An ill person generally needs assistance in managing anxiety. The
anxiety can be about many things. The most personal of these is usually
that the person faces the vision of mortality. When the person realises
illness (some symptom has occurred e.g. pain in the chest, bleeding, ...
) there is anxiety about that symptom. How serious is it? What will
happen to me? It is a problem of not knowing that can precipitate the
crisis. Strangely, when an illness is diagnosed, some of the reaction
can disappear when treatment is specified and hope realised.
➢ It disrupts the normal pattern of life
Disruption can take many forms. If the person works then work is generally not possible. Who will do the work? If self-employed – who is going to despatch the orders? If a mother – who will look after the children and the family? Who will collect them from school? It is often a family affair because it impacts on the family.
➢
It can lead to loss of control
When well, a person can normally control the events of their lives.
(S)he can organise their home, work, and other activities. If ill, who
is going to do this? There is a reliance on others who already have
their own commitments.
➢
It can be costly
While Australian society has Medicare, not all costs are necessarily
covered, especially if medical attention is needed urgently but there is
a waiting list in the public sector. Private treatment can be very
costly.
Not all pharmaceutical requirements are met by either
Medicare or private insurance funds.
A working person may lose their
income through extended illness or through being self-employed and being
unable to work.
It may be difficult for an ill person to visit
government funding services to arrange for benefits.
➢
Medical treatment often uses a
different ‘language’
Apart from the medical language used in diagnosis that refers to body’s
internal or external parts, there may be the tests that require an MRI,
an EEG or an ECG. You may need a bronchoscopy, an endoscopy or a
colonoscopy. What is the difference between chemotherapy, immunotherapy
or radiotherapy, or is it radium therapy, or is it radiation therapy?
This list is endless and may be daunting for the person who is already
under stress. Sometimes a person is not confident enough to ask for more
details from the medical staff. A carer can help here by approaching the
staff on behalf of the patient.
➢
It ‘infantilises’
The patient is often told when and what to eat, when to sleep, when to
take a shower, when they can go for a walk, when to go to the toilet and
in general, when, or when not, to do anything. Patients are organised
and directed – just like an infant. And in the process, the patient
often loses dignity, especially when personal issues are evident while
others are in the same room or ward. In essence, an ill person loses
independence.
➢
It isolates
‘You don’t really understand how I feel.’
‘No one cares. No one has
visited me for the last two days.’ Illness can lead to loneliness and
the feeling of isolation. Illness leads to self-centred-ness. It can
lead to feelings of frustration, impatience and helplessness. This can
lead to depression, withdrawal and lack of communication.
➢
It can be a forerunner of death
Depending on the seriousness of the illness, a person can be faced with
the issue of their own mortality. They may not know definitely that they
are going to be restored to good health again. In a self-centred state
they may be worried about the possibility of not seeing their family
again, of not reaching Christmas or a special birthday in the family,
and a host of other factors. They may be fearful of the process of
death. What kind of pain will there be?
One of our roles can be to
assist a person through these difficulties by helping to promote their
value as a person and to cope with the impending death, or the long,
hard road back to better health.
➢
It can have some benefits
Here are some possible benefits:
• being allowed to avoid facing a
particular problem not related to the illness; gaining attention from
people around you where this may not normally be available;
• having
an opportunity to rethink your life’s directions and purpose, including
spirituality;
• not having to meet others’ expectations.
What we can do to help?
Below are some things
we can do
➢ Be spiritually aware through
meditation and prayer.
➢ Check on the background of the person and of
their current circumstances.
➢ Observe hygiene routines – washing
hands before and after a visit.
➢ Once you have been aware of the
background, have a plan for your visit, and be prepared to adapt.
➢
Sit or stand where you and the ill person can communicate comfortably.
➢ Allow the ill person to set the mood for your visit so you can observe
their state of mind from the outset.
➢ Be empathetic, warm and
accepting of the ill person’s attitudes and expressions, giving
emotional support and encouragement.
➢ Give your undivided attention.
➢ Look for non-verbal communication.
➢ Look for opportunities to
explore the ill person’s feelings and their spirituality.
Here are some things
to avoid:
➢ prying
➢ anecdotes
➢ being judgemental. It
is not for us to determine whether a person’s action is right or wrong,
but rather to help a person explore their own perceptions for
themselves.
➢ arguments, even if the ill person’s language is
provocative
➢ preaching – but be prepared to talk about spiritual
issues
➢ manipulating the patient
➢ being manipulated by the
patient
➢ chiding a patient for the feelings they might express
➢
encouraging unrealistic expectations of the person.
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